


Until Next Time,

by phans_catwhiskers



Category: Phan, Phandom, dan and phil, dan howell/phil lester - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Happy, Implied/Referenced Suicide, YouTube, YouTubers - Freeform, internet support group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9792023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phans_catwhiskers/pseuds/phans_catwhiskers
Summary: Dan is recording another Internet Support Group video when he receives a question he never thought he'd answer in a video.





	

Dan sat at his desk, rambling on to his camera. He was filming yet another Internet Support Group video and this one was going just as the others had. A lot of iffy life advice followed by even more Ribena. He decided to wrap the video up with one more question.  
“Right, so this one comes from Hannah in Wales.” He looked at the question and tensed up. He stared at the pixels for several long seconds before reading it out loud, his voice soft. “‘Dear Dan, I’ve been having a rough time lately and I’ve just really lost hope. I’m not happy, I don’t have a lot of friends, my grades are slipping, my parents are splitting up. Life generally does not seem worth living anymore. Any advice?’” Dan sat back in his chair for a minute before looking into his camera lens, eyes watery. He cleared his throat and sat up.  
“Hannah, I want you to know I know how you’re feeling.” His voice had never been so genuine and sincere in a video. “I have had your same mindset in the past. And I want you to know this: no matter what you’re feeling, no matter how much you’re hurting, life is worth living. I promise. If for nothing else, just live tonight. You never know, tomorrow might be the best day of your life. And you’d never know if you weren’t around to see it. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t give up on hope. Don’t give up on living. Please. Life is so worth it. I’ve been where you are. I had those scary thoughts. I-” Dan’s voice broke and he had to choke down tears. “I have quite nearly ended my own life before.” His voice gave out again and he took several deep shaky breaths. “I have been in such a dark place that I thought I would never get any better. And I didn’t care what it did to anyone else. I didn’t care what anyone told me. I thought I was better off dead. I thought everyone would be better off without me. But, Hannah, I was wrong.” He emphasised each word. “There were people even back then who needed me and relied on me. I held a bottle of pills in my hand with tears streaming down my face on a certain day. Do you know what day that was? October 17, 2009.” Dan looked into the camera for a long moment.  
“If I had taken those pills, none of this would have happened. I would be in a box under the ground. That would have been the end of my story. Two days after I decided not to take those pills, I had a life-altering experience. That day changed - saved - my life forever. I promise, no matter how much it hurts, if you just give life a chance, it will be worth it.  
“Please, don’t take your life.” Dan’s eyes started to water and his voice shook. “Please hold on. Just for one more day. Just for two more days. It might seem an eternity, but if you just hold on with everything you’ve got, you’ll see just how much better life can get. It is worth it. You matter. You are important. There are people in this world, and you may not even know who they are or how many there are. But they need you. They rely on you. They would be lost without you. You are loved. You are so loved.” Dan closed his eyes after his last sentence and a tear fell down his cheek. He took a shaky breath.  
“So, that was the Internet Support Group. Thanks for watching. Until next time…” He did his classic two finger salute to the camera and dropped his hands to his lap. After a moment, he turned his camera off, collapsed his tripod and sat in silence. He stood up and walked out of the office. Slowly, he trudged down the stairs and found himself stood in the doorway to Phil’s bedroom. His flatmate looked up from his computer.  
“What’s wrong, Dan?”  
Dan stood still, his brow furrowed and arms wrapped tightly around himself. Another tear fell silently.  
“Oh, Danny…” Phil stood from his bed and gently wrapped his arms around Dan. Dan hugged him tightly and cried into his shoulder. Phil softly cooed to him and rubbed his back.  
“Thank you, Phil.” Dan’s voice was soft and thick with tears.  
“What for, Bear?”  
“Saving my life.”  
Phil pulled away and looked lovingly into Dan’s sad eyes. Dan’s gaze was locked on the floor and Phil cupped his face. Lifting his chin, Phil softly kissed Dan. He felt Dan relax significantly and pulled away.  
“You saved mine as well, Dan.”  
“How?”  
“By teaching me the most important lesson of all.”  
“And that is…?”  
“Life is worth living.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had this posted on here before but accidentally deleted it! Hope you enjoy :)


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